Saturday, January 31, 2009 9:47 PM
31/01/2009 - an emotional day
i dont know what day it is today...
the worst day of this month perhaps?
i dont know
but it's the day that i feel totally solitude in Singapore
after all, look like i have to always depend on myself no matter in whatever things i do. i learnt from the mistake.
if i cant even depend on my cousins hu are like my siblings, the ones whom i luv and care the most in Singapore, i bet there is noone else i could rely on.
i shouldnt be so sad actually, this kind of things do happen seldomly, yes, SELDOMLY
i wondered how did i go through them last time. i wish i could still feel the same way again
today, we promised one another to go and celebrate my cousin bdae together with a cake. and guess what, firstly, they all went for visiting without even think of how much wasted sacrifices i made would be. they are jus some selfish people who think that they are first as always. i should hav known. that incident was kinda forgivable. it would seem to be so imcomplex as compare to the next one. when they broke the promises we made.
we were suppose to go for visiting together, but we couldnt. and after that they did nt even bother if i was dead or alive. i was like waiting at home watching movie after movie jus to WAIT pathetically for them to come back. and guess what...they were shopping happily and end up going to eat pizza together...i believe they wont even bother contacting me if it was not coz of P'gift asking them to call me. i should get used to it already. but i still...deeply, feel hurt. yah i know i m such an idiot person, i'm a bloody asshole that nobody should even care, i dont deserve their little care and concern, and I m gonna prove them right. i can live by myself.
P gift and i were suppose to celebrate bdae for Pete, but wel...since we had nth to celebrate, might as well use our time preciously rite? so we jus went to eat at parkway and did some groceries shopping...and i felt damn bad...all the things cost about S$150+ it's tremendous sum of money u know. i gtta help her by some way. anw, now evryone is back at home and yet...we didnt even bother talking a single word. i jus want to cut myself from them. i hope i can. i wish i will do it once and for all. u know, stop caring for someone hu dont even know how to think about others. yes i should stop....
4:15 PM
picture time~!
Btw, on wed was seriously last min kind of decision to go out watch movie
i tot wilson would hav called for more ppl, but hu knows...onli 4 ppl turned up excluded me. luckily, i dragged Amos along with me.lol. he's such a good doggy ^^
we watched the wedding game and omg...i was so IN with the romantic story...despite the fact that Amos turned up late and i had to go fetch him outside, but nevermind! i hav to help a friend rite?
after that i was very sian and hence, amos and i decided to watch LOVE MATTER and they cant watch coz not yet 16...wuahahaaha, the show was simply relating to sex...so yah...too bad lor~
i was eating lasagna (is it correct spelling?) and he was eating some spicy seafood spagetthi. and u know what? we took like 1 hour jus to look for a dinning shop -.- cant decided between Swenzen, Changing appetite, or Cafe Cartel...wel...ended up in the last one. and i was fully bloated! these few days i like nv shit at all leh...zzz
walked to the same bus stop and wel...we gt nth to do jus cam hor! and his buss came first -.- very unfair, but i's okay lah...coz the bus 36 ltr gt lot cute ppl inside. muahahahaha
3:55 PM
Testing no.2
Me at similan beach
3:30 PM
31/01/2009
happy birthday to my cousin!!!he is already 19, WTF, i'm like 5 more months before i'll turn 18, the age of ... lolx, i believe i wont b like my cousin so guai bah, hehheh
anw, today was seriously pissing me off day.
my whole house cousin PANGSEH me jus becoz i went out with my friend ard noon. wel...the story goes like this....
i decided to go Bugis shopping with R for a while at 11 and i was suppose to be back home by two.
however at about 12.15, my niece called me saying that they will leave in about an hour time and wanted me to come home asap! so...i had to reluctantly stoping my shopping time with R and gt on the bus at about 12.40...then she called me again saying that they were leaving AT ONCE...i was like OoO didnt u said 1+pm? now wat?
seriously...i felt like slamming my phone on the floor if nt coz my phone cost me more than 500 S$.... -.- wtf, and i was on the way till Kallang already...what else can i do?! if i was to go Kovan meet them, i should have taken the same MRT as R together. i dont want to go alone lah...so boring ~o~ so all in all...came back home and ate lunch and watched a movie
gosh...i'm bored...honey let's go out tgt Xp
tonight still must celebrate my cousin bdae at dunno where...i feel realli left out
may b coz i dont hav a sibling like them.
so i want my other half!!!!!
Thursday, January 29, 2009 10:07 PM
Testing
It jus me...
Monday, January 26, 2009 1:00 AM
26/01/2009
oh gosh...it's chinese new year!
and yesh, i m feeling so pathetically lonelier than before
my life is realli rolling down hill forever
it's so tiring...tonight was my third approach
and wel...the person is no longer available since the day before ytd, yet, i dint know a thing. feel like being cheated. feel like being looked as unimportant. something has nv change, me. i dont know if there is anything wrong with me. the line is always drawn until the friendship, there was nv once that the line get thinner for me to go in deeper. may b i m realli borned loveless. onli love frm my parents, my family...how abt someone that i can love and love me whole heartedly? i hav been hoping tat i will b able to share to giv my love to somebody. if that is seriously not gonna come true...i'm seriously gonna go into the wrong path...
so...may b i shall start this sat...the night tat evrthing all begins
LIFE SUX.
Sunday, January 25, 2009 10:44 PM
25/01/2009
heeheehee ^^
my first ever post of the YEAR 2009!
it's going to be the OKY year soon
i heard ppl say it's the worst year for a goat-borner like me
i guess evrything will b jus fine...
wel, may be not. last night was stupid.
i jus realised i hav been wasting my life on someone tat doesnt worth my care and concern.
i'm kinda used to it anw, there is no point being sad about it
wat i hav to do now is concentrate on the new 'target'
lol, or may b...none at all
this valentine gonna b alone so be it
i still hav my beloved cousins hu will always stay by me!
anw, wish evryone hu read my blog HAPPY CHINESE NEW YEAR!!!
today i went to Uncle Francis house & My ex-guardian house
and unfortunately, both houses hav reunion dinners we had to attend and both places are STEAMBOAT.
zzzz
seriously, i'm gonna sick of steamboat for at least a month
the first house was kinda full already, and the second house gt even better food!!
so my cousins, Pet and Pear and i ate the steamboat like OMG lah k
ate until i couldnt even stand straight
then we coped some of the old movies to bring home to watch....
my ex-guardian was kinda freak out coz i coped all her favourite movies nia XP
now my cousins are feeding their hamsters
-.- see them so cute i also feel like getting one for myself sia....but i'm sux at taking care pet. onli good at taking care people...haiz....
going chat le, byebye.
ps. may b i should do my new year resolution asap! ^o^