ZikaZikaBoomBoom~: 31/01/2009

i dont know what day it is today...
the worst day of this month perhaps?
i dont know
but it's the day that i feel totally solitude in Singapore
after all, look like i have to always depend on myself no matter in whatever things i do. i learnt from the mistake.
if i cant even depend on my cousins hu are like my siblings, the ones whom i luv and care the most in Singapore, i bet there is noone else i could rely on.
i shouldnt be so sad actually, this kind of things do happen seldomly, yes, SELDOMLY
i wondered how did i go through them last time. i wish i could still feel the same way again

today, we promised one another to go and celebrate my cousin bdae together with a cake. and guess what, firstly, they all went for visiting without even think of how much wasted sacrifices i made would be. they are jus some selfish people who think that they are first as always. i should hav known. that incident was kinda forgivable. it would seem to be so imcomplex as compare to the next one. when they broke the promises we made.

we were suppose to go for visiting together, but we couldnt. and after that they did nt even bother if i was dead or alive. i was like waiting at home watching movie after movie jus to WAIT pathetically for them to come back. and guess what...they were shopping happily and end up going to eat pizza together...i believe they wont even bother contacting me if it was not coz of P'gift asking them to call me. i should get used to it already. but i still...deeply, feel hurt. yah i know i m such an idiot person, i'm a bloody asshole that nobody should even care, i dont deserve their little care and concern, and I m gonna prove them right. i can live by myself.

P gift and i were suppose to celebrate bdae for Pete, but wel...since we had nth to celebrate, might as well use our time preciously rite? so we jus went to eat at parkway and did some groceries shopping...and i felt damn bad...all the things cost about S$150+ it's tremendous sum of money u know. i gtta help her by some way. anw, now evryone is back at home and yet...we didnt even bother talking a single word. i jus want to cut myself from them. i hope i can. i wish i will do it once and for all. u know, stop caring for someone hu dont even know how to think about others. yes i should stop....